


Interplay

by toushindai (WallofIllusion)



Category: Baccano!
Genre: F/M, Gen, Grief, Inside Out Au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 15:10:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12962121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WallofIllusion/pseuds/toushindai
Summary: The interplay of emotions behind Huey's emotionlessness. Inside Out AU.





	1. Resolution (1710)

**Author's Note:**

> honestly I don't even know what this is.

“Let me work the control panel.”

Anger is the first emotion to speak in days. His voice is not loud, but it carries, shaking some of the others from their reverie. Sadness, himself slumped over the panel where he’s been since it happened, slowly turns to face him. 

The embers on Anger’s head burn low and controlled, but no one would be able to miss that they are aflame. “We’re going to find out who did this,” he says, “and we’re going to make them pay.”

Sadness cringes, but it’s Fear who answers. “We _can’t_!” he cries, rushing forward. “That was her whole _point_ , you know that! They can’t be fought. That’s why she—why she—”

 _Why she left him_  doesn’t even need to be spoken. Sadness closes his eyes and sighs; when he reaches for the console to lean on it, his hand brushes a lever and he moves it by instinct. No one stops him. What’s one more miserable twitch to Huey after days spent curled up in bed?

But Anger sends a glare at the window and growls. He rounds on Fear. “Who _cares_?” he demands. “She’s _gone_. What more can they take from us?”

Fear folds his arms close to himself protectively, eyes shut to block out Anger’s vehemence. “ _Elmer_ ,” he whimpers.

Silence falls over headquarters again as they all look, inevitably, towards the corner where Joy sits. Where he’s been sitting, knees up and head buried in his arms, for days. His only response is to curl up tighter, hiding himself from their gazes as best he can. 

“We can’t lose Elmer,” Fear pleads. “We can’t. Huey won’t survive. The islands—”

“I know about the islands!” Anger says, clenching his fist. He doesn’t look towards the window where all of Huey’s Personality Islands have gone dark and cold. “We’re going to find a way to fix this, all right, we’ve done it before!”

“ _Monica_  fixed them,” Sadness mumbles. He clutches the edge of the console, fighting against tears in vain. 

“Okay, fine, _she_ fixed them, but now it’s up to us, and we can’t do anything if Huey just lies in bed all day!” Anger surges forward and pushes Sadness aside. “We need to do _something_ —”

“Anger, no!” Fear grabs his arm before he can start working the console. “We can’t go against them—”

“It won’t do anything anyway,” Sadness says. “Revenge won’t bring Monica back. Nothing will.”

“Well at least it’s better than lying around moping! How about it, Joy, I bet some revenge would cheer us all right up. And then Elmer will be satisfied too,” he finishes with a jerk of his head towards the image. Huey is asleep now, or nearly so, but none of them doubt that his friend is still there, waiting for Huey to be able to smile once more.

But Joy doesn’t respond. Sadness watches him for a long moment, then sighs. “I don’t know,” he mumbles. “I don’t know if revenge will help. I don’t know if anything will. And Fear is right about the risks…”

Anger tries to fight free of Fear’s grasp. “Oh, come _on_ —”

“I’ll work the control panel.”

A cold voice rings out through the control room and everyone else fails silent. Even Joy raises his head for the first time in days.

“Disgust…” he murmurs, too quiet for the others to hear.

The green-tinted emotion makes his way forward, impassive superiority on his face. He dares the others to challenge him. 

“I’ve managed before,” he points out. “Right?”

Of course they can’t challenge him. Disgust piloted Huey for nearly a decade, after he lost his mother and his trust in the world. And it worked, in a way. Huey regarded all things—including himself—with a sort of detached hatred, and he got through life until Monica and Elmer made it safe for him to start feeling things again.

But now, when Disgust plucks an idea out of the bin, Joy shudders. He takes a deep breath and gets to his feet. “Wait,” he says, his voice hoarse from days of disuse and pain. “We can’t—we can’t go back to that.” 

Disgust shrugs. “Sure we can.” 

“We _can’t_. Disgust, he—I—” Joy reaches out imploringly. “Haven’t you felt it? Haven’t you _seen_  it? He’s found joy in the world again. He can’t just go back to hating it. I don’t mean that he shouldn’t, I mean that he really _can’t_.” 

Joy gazes at the control panel, careful not to meet Sadness’s eyes in the process. The last year of Huey’s life has been incredible, so full of light: Huey opening up to joy again, letting Elmer and Monica in. Building new islands. They’re still there, cold and unlit right now, but as long as the five of them don’t do anything rash, they may yet be lit again.

Disgust looks out the window as well, towards the darkened islands. Then he looks around the room. Fear and Anger and Sadness have all fallen silent; they know this is between Disgust and Joy. He looks down at the idea in his hand and wonders if it’s really best for Huey. For what Huey wants to _be_. 

And he’s sure that it is.

“You heard her, right?” he says, not looking up. “You saw what she said. She was so _overjoyed_  just to see him…”

Joy bites his lip to stay composed. Sadness doesn’t bother; he begins to weep as Disgust continues.

“She said, ‘Let’s meet again.’ That was the last thing she wanted to say to us. To Huey. She looked at him and smiled—just like Mom—”

“Disgust, could you make your point please?” Anger snaps as Sadness shudders.

“Yes.” The uncertainty on Disgust’s face disappears. “She wanted to see Huey again. She was sure she would. That’s why she was smiling. So—we just have to make that happen.” He rolls the idea over in his hands, warming it. “At any cost.”

Anger throws his hands up in exasperation. “Great, now you’re making even less sense than Elmer. She’s _dead_ , Disgust! We can’t—”

“She’s dead, but Huey is an alchemist.”

It’s Joy who interrupts. He’s staring at Disgust and trembling with anticipation. With the beginnings of _hope_. 

“No one… really knows the limits of alchemy,” he says slowly, walking forward. “If there’s a way to bring her back… even just to _reach_  her…”

“No,” Fear breaks in. “No no no, absolutely not. Dead people should stay _dead_. Who knows what could happen if you just start bringing them back willy-nilly—”

“We’re not going to bring back the dead willy-nilly,” Disgust says calmly. “We’re going to find a way to bring _her_  back. That’s all. That’s all Huey cares about. The rest of the world can go to hell, you all know that.” 

The others fall silent for a moment. Disgust’s words are true: Huey only values the world through the lens of Monica’s presence. Without that lens, there would be no arguing with Disgust to begin with.

“Hey…” Sadness lifts his head. He wants to hope—he wants _Joy_  to be able to hope—but he can’t quite manage it. “When you say ‘at any cost’…”

“Shut down again.” Disgust gives a dismissive wave of his hand. “Just… put everything on hold until he can get this figured out. Just temporarily, just for now.” 

“For how long?” Sadness presses.

“For however long it takes.” 

“What if it takes years?” Fear protests.

“Then we wait. But he needs to be able to _focus_. This is going to be hard. We can’t interrupt him.” 

“I don’t know…” Sadness fiddles with his sleeves, his eyes roving around the room and out the back window. “I don’t think he can remember Monica without remembering that joy, or without… feeling sad… now.” 

Disgust shrugs. “Then maybe he’ll just spend less time remembering her. It’s just _temporary_ , Sadness, it’s not permanent.” 

“But… He misses her so much. He needs time with that, he needs to feel it!”

Anger scoffs. “He’s had four days straight to do nothing else.” 

“That’s not enough!” Sadness cries. He looks to Joy, certain that Joy will understand. Joy knows that Huey is comfortable with the bittersweet when he lets himself be. Joy knows that grief balances happiness, how naturally the two intertwine—

Joy isn’t looking at Sadness.

He’s looking at Disgust. 

“If he can see her again…” Joy holds his own arms in a self-embrace, looking lost. “If he can just… even once. Even just to say goodbye, and… thank her.” 

“He’ll be able to move on,” Disgust says, finishing the thought for him.

“Yes…”

“No!” Sadness protests one more time. “No, that isn’t the right way to do things, it’s not what Monica would want—”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Disgust sends a scornful look his way. “She loved him when I was in control before. She would forgive this, too. She _will_  forgive this. When Huey sees her again.” 

“Yes,” Joy says again. “Yes, this… this is the right thing to do.” 

“Joy, _no_ ,” Sadness pleads. “You can’t really think it’s right, to shut Huey down again… I—I know I’m not doing anything useful right now but we can’t take _you_  away from him again. You’ve been so good for him this past year. Just look at the islands!” 

“ _You_ look at them.” Joy gestures towards the window, his head turned deliberately away. ”I don’t… have anything for them right now, Sadness. I don’t have anything to offer Huey. Not without her. I’m sorry.” 

“You’ll find something. Elmer will help you find something…”

Joy shakes his head. “I can’t keep failing Elmer like this. We need to put everything on hold. Just… just until we have her back. I agree with Disgust.”

Sadness looks between Joy and Disgust one last time: Huey’s heart and his protection. They’ve never gotten along well, and if they’re going to team up now… there’s nothing he can do. He strokes the control panel one last time, watching blue ripple across it and feeling that deep ache in his heart. It hurts almost more than he can bear.

Maybe he’s being selfish, asking Huey to bear it.

Maybe they’re all right.

He steps back, and Disgust looks around the room once more.

“We all agree, then?” he asks, lifting his idea for their assessment. 

Joy nods the fastest, and then Fear. Anger is more stubborn, but his desire to get Huey to do _something_ instead of just lying around wins out. He sends a grudging nod Disgust’s way.

“Sadness?” Disgust presses. “You’re outnumbered anyway. Might as well have your say.”

Joy makes his way to Sadness and takes his hand. “Huey’s brilliant,” he says quietly. “If there’s any way to make this happen, he’s going to find it.”

“But what if there isn’t?” Sadness mumbles.

“He will. There has to be a way.” Joy looks at Sadness, trying his best to smile. Trying his best to be _joyful_ again. “Right?”

And Sadness can’t stand to see Joy so hopeless. He sighs deeply and folds up his pain so that it will be for him alone.

“Yeah. If there’s a way, he’ll find it.” He squeezes Joy’s hand tightly. Giving comfort, or seeking it? There’s no telling. “All right, Disgust. Just… Just do it.”

Without another word, Disgust steps forward and fits the idea into its slot. The control panel hums for a moment and then accepts it. On the outside, Huey gasps, his eyes suddenly wide open as he sits up.

 _“Hm?”_  comes Elmer’s voice. Joy sags; Sadness holds him up. 

Huey is silent. A dull black begins to creep across the control panel as he breathes quietly.

 _“Nothing,”_ he says to Elmer. _“Go back to sleep.”_

_“F’you say so.”_

Only a tiny portion of the board is left untouched. Disgust stands guard in front of it, but he doesn’t enter any directions just yet. Huey doesn’t go back to sleep. He stays up until morning, silent and blank, his mind working away on the only solution they have to offer him.


	2. Contemplation (193x)

Disgust mans the control panel during dreams, too—mostly out of habit. And because Huey doesn’t react well if another emotion is still in control when he wakes. Then it’s usually Fear who comes to drag them away, trying to shout loud enough that Sadness and Anger can’t be heard. And then for a few days the panel goes all-black and he starts a new experiment, each time crueler than the last one. 

And when the panel thaws again, Disgust is there to assess the damage and resume control.

But it’s not Sadness or Anger who comes out to watch this dream. Disgust sees a warm glow creep up the walls behind him and sighs. He doesn’t turn.

“Good evening, Joy.”

Joy reaches the control panel and leans on it. He glances once at Disgust, but only briefly; his focus is on the screen in front of them where Huey’s dream is projected.

“I heard their voices,” he explains, eyes shining as he watches the image—the memory—of Huey’s two dearest friends. His gold seeps into the control panel, and Disgust can’t bring himself to push him away, even if Huey doesn’t deserve it.

“You didn’t bring Sadness with you tonight?” he asks. Joy and Sadness are often together—it was true even before Huey’s resolution, but now, with Huey so cut off from his past, there is little he can recall fondly without also feeling a bittersweet ache for it. 

But tonight, Joy shakes his head. “He’s sleeping. Let’s let Huey have this. Just for a bit.”

Disgust scoffs, but he still doesn’t push Joy away. He stands stock-still and watches the nostalgic images on the screen: Elmer’s unflappable grin, and the way _she_  (there is only one _she_  in Huey’s mind—unfortunately for his devoted daughters) rolls her eyes as Huey cuts Elmer’s ridiculous ideas down to size. It was a revelation to learn that _she_  was sarcastic when comfortable, and a treasured memory of Joy’s.

Disgust didn’t have much to do in those days. The memories of them are all colored with Joy’s gold, and the occasional flicker of purple-gray when Huey worried late at night that he’d opened himself up to the possibility of loss again. 

 _That won’t happen_ , Joy had assured Fear over and over, right up until the moment that it did. And after that, Joy never really recovered. He’s not really focused on _her_  now, either; instead he watches Elmer with a fond nostalgia that almost borders on hunger.

“I hope he’s still okay,” he says aloud. “I mean… he’s Elmer. I’m sure he is.” 

“He must be,” Disgust answers, confident and impassive. At Joy’s surprise, he gives a smile that (as is usual for him) is more like a sneer. “If something happened to him, Fermet would make _sure_  Huey knew it as soon as possible.” 

“oh.” 

Fermet is not something Joy can comfortably wrap his head around, so he returns his focus to the screen, leaning forward a little to watch Elmer. Elmer makes a stupid joke and Joy snickers appreciatively even as Disgust rolls his eyes. Disgust—and sometimes Anger—had always handled most of Huey’s responses to Elmer, because god forbid he _encourage_  Elmer’s shenanigans. But Elmer continued whether he was encouraged or not, and it had hardly been surprising when Joy had begun to take an interest given Elmer’s relentless devotion to drawing him out. Joy fell in love with him, Disgust thinks, and they’ve all done what they can to keep Huey from realizing the affection. They haven’t always been successful. By now, Huey is aware of how deeply he cares for Elmer, though he terms the relationship _best friends_. Love is reserved for _her_ , even when she is no-longer-and-not-yet around to receive it.

Joy understands that. He knows that Huey needs her back; that that’s what he’s decided to need more than anything else.

*

The dream is a long one. A half-hour passes before Joy speaks again.

“What do you think it’s like inside Elmer?” he muses.

“Black,” is Disgust’s immediate answer. “Empty.”

He’s thought about it a lot: turned over and over the question of just what is wrong with Huey’s best friend. Obviously _something_  is. Something repulsive and broken. Disgust has always known that, and every time he thinks about it, he arrives at the same image: a small, stunted control panel dyed an unresponsive black and piled high with centuries of dust. At left, an idea embedded irrevocably deep and shining too bright to look at: _my purpose is to make others smile_.

“He doesn’t feel anything,” he reminds Joy even as Joy looks away, discouraged. “You know what he’s like. You’ve seen what he’s done—do you think there’s any Fear or Sadness left in him? You’ve seen how he reacts to Fermet, his antithesis in every way—do you think Disgust or Anger has any say in how he acts? And he’s told us that he doesn’t have access to Joy. Honestly, I think his emotions must’ve thrown themselves into the dump long before we met him. Why wouldn’t they?”

Joy is shaking his head, clearly pained by Disgust’s little tirade. “That can’t be true.”

Disgust rolls his eyes. Joy’s optimism is pointless. He can believe whatever he wants.

But he forgets sometimes that Joy is just hopeful, not stupid. Joy looks at him seriously. “It really can’t be true,” he insists. “Even if the rest gave up, Joy wouldn’t have. There’s no way he can. _I_ can’t, Disgust. Optimism isn’t a choice I make. It’s just… everything I am. Even after two hundred years of this.” He gestures at the blackened control panel.

Disgust heaves a sigh. He believes Joy, and that makes it even worse. “Then what do you think it’s like inside of Elmer? And try to be realistic. Don’t tell me everything’s bright yellow just because he’s always smiling.”

“No. I’m not _that_ optimistic.” Joy looks at the screen again, watches Elmer pretend to give Huey and _her_ space only to peek at their delight when they look at each other. “You’re almost right. There’s a lot of dust. A lot of rust and darkness. His memories are mostly…” He nods towards the memory shelves behind them. They’re all a dull gray, with only the occasional flicker of green and even rarer hints of other colors. “They’re like ours. And maybe Fear is gone. Maybe Sadness is gone. Maybe the others gave up long before we even met him, but… Joy doesn’t work that way. He’s got to still be in there, trying. Trying to figure out how to reach Elmer.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very joyful existence.”

“No,” Joy agrees with sad smile. “It sounds lonely. I used to think… or just hope, I guess… that Huey might be able to get through to him.”

“There’s that optimism of yours again,” Disgust says. Somehow, the idea that Elmer might be capable of feeling again is even more repulsive than the reverse. Elmer is the way he is. If that changes, everything about him will need to be reassessed. Rediscovered. 

Joy is watching the screen again. “When we reunite…” he murmurs, leaning in.”When we reunite, all three of us—I’m going to have the most powerful smile in the world ready for him. I’m going to show him how to be happy again. Just like he showed Huey.”

Disgust remains silent. Huey doesn’t deserve that kind of happiness. Elmer probably doesn’t, either. But there’s no way to change Joy’s mind.

“He’ll be awake soon,” he says finally. “Give him a chance to forget what he’s dreaming. Before Sadness and Fear wake up.”

“Yes,” Joy agrees heavily, but he doesn’t move; his hand stays rested on the control panel. Huey’s memories of those dearest to him don’t fade. Disgust gives him one more minute; then he brushes Joy’s hand aside and takes hold of one of the few remaining levers. He cranks it downward, and the dream vanishes—chased away by the comprehension of how little any of them deserve contentment. Joy sighs.

“Do you still think we’re doing the right thing?” he asks.

“It’s the only way to see her again,” Disgust answers. “And that’s all that needs to matter.”

Not morals, not sacrifices, not trivial matters like whether any of them are happy now. Just her. Just her.


End file.
